The Snog Blog Survey!

Ahh Yeh Baby!! So lets talk snogging!!

For some reason this blog title has aroused your curiosity?? If I had a smilie with a raised eyebrow I would insert it here…. Maybe the word SNOG (a generic term for saliva swapping between 2, hopefully not more, hormonally challenged participants) rekindles images of making out with your best friend’s girlfriend/boyfriend under ‘the love-tree’ or behind the school canteen.

Can you recall your first real KISS?...

Believe me, that would have been a definite snog! And more than likely there would have been a clash of front teeth and possibly even a cut lip.

Do you recall the Sensation? The Hype and The Gossip that followed? “Did you snoggar? Didya, didya, tell me!!” And if you were any sort of a man or woman, your answer was always yes.

How old were you?

And how old were you when the SNOGGING stopped?....
Only to be replaced by passion? Or should I say Pashing!!? (another generic term where consenting hormonally charged individuals attempt to obstruct the breathing of the other by use of their tongue).
Often, in the animal kingdom, you will see such behaviour. Particularly among the young. Lion cubs, for example, will playfully grope and over-extend their jaws in an effort to “out-gape” the other.

I’m sure we can all recall the physical after-effects of a decent pash! The sore throat, strained tongue muscle and a sub-luxated mandible, all resulting from the “out-gaping manouvre”

There’s little doubt in my mind that the whole industry of 1st Aid Response and Education, was the brain-child of what I refer to as a HYPER-SNOGGER, someone with an obsessive disorder, who quite possibly had a near death experience whilst engaged in a SNOGGATHON with an individual who had an over-sized LIKKA (or tongue). But the HYPER-SNOGGA, although traumatized, was awakened to their entrepreneurial talents. And, coupled with a deep empathy for fellow sufferers, realized the market for 1st Aid Response and Education.

All that aside :) I would like to hypothesize that inside all of us still lives that crazy, cute, and curious kid.

Do you remember the child in you?

How often do you let him or her out to play?

What I am going to do, as a service to all you past and present snoggers out there, is to construct a quick survey, for your own intimation and evaluation, which will hopefully reveal to you, whether in fact, you have imprisoned the child within, and if so, to what extent. If the outcome is undesireable or somewhat distressing, at the end of the questionnaire I suggest 2 possible solutions from which you may choose one or both

So…I’m not sure how long exactly this survey will take as I’m obviously making this up as I go, But I’ll try to keep it to just a minute or 2. It will be in Multiple choice format (as they are the only exams I ever understood at school). A points system will be in place at the completion of the questionnaire thus allowing you to ascertain the extent of “your inner child’s freedom”.

OK…you ready? And remember, “If you cheat, you’re only cheating yourself!”

Question 1
Still thinking…
If you were asked to play in a game of backyard cricket at a bbq, would you –

A – Instantly recall that bad back you’ve got from years of chronic inactivity
B – Hesitate as you’re already settled, and the wine glass is full
C – Take one look at your kids, who are almost wet with excitement, and give in to their pleas
D – Triumphantly snog the face of the cricket bat, as you stride to the centre of the action

Question 2
You know there must be a school reunion coming up soon, so you

A – Move to Europe for a couple of years :) (I promise you I almost flew home for it!)
B – Seriously debate it with your partner or friend, and decide to decide later
C – Reminisce your favourite snogs. Maybe hit the gym or tanning salon
D – Flick through the old pimple-faced fotos, snogging the year photo with excitement

Question 3
Your colleague at work pulls a prank on you. How do you respond?

A – You report this as a dangerous incident to your superior
B – You chastise their behaviour and demand that they “grow up”
C – You let down their tyres
D – You call them aside and attempt to snog them

Question 4
After a tough day in the trenches, you

A – come home thinking you can’t remember your last snog. Life pisses you off!
B – pick up the kids, hug them, hug your partner, then focus on the bills and tele
C – stop by the gym, or the local, and crack a few jokes at life
D – come home fully pumped, snogging or wanting to snog anyone that even smiles a you, even your dog (called a dog-snog:), before dragging the family or friends down to the park or beach to fly a kite

Question 5
An extremely attractive but unknown person approaches you in the street and asks if they can snog you. Your response is to

A – Stand there, shell-shocked and emotionless, yours eyes going all funny until they are scared away
B – Say that you were told never to snog strangers, but give them the once up and down anyway
C – Pick your nose and flick your booga at them, then blow them a kiss good-bye
D – Depending on your status, snoggem hard as you can, and/or race home and snog your partner even harder!

Before we settle the score, please remember to:

1- Visit my website http://www.setsail4life.com/ to live your passion everyday,
and/or
2- Get back to snoggin those you love. And if there is no love in your life, put out a snoggalert in Facebook, in your local community, or even erect a banner in your front yard “SNOGGER WANTED – Please, no biters”. Make a commitment today to be snogged within one week, and take a foto and share it on my Facebook page where I have created a Snoggers foto Album.

Together, we can snog the world!

OK, considering A=5, B=10, C=15 & D=20 please tally up!

A score of below 25 means you need to go back to school and consult with your Maths teacher
25-50 means you really are a sad case. Your inner child would file for parental divorce if you let it out. I don’t want you to visit my blogs anymore
51-75 indicates that you frequently allow your inner child out to play, but usually under strict supervision. You should seriously consider being less serious!
75-100 GROW UP! No wonder your inner child’s always in trouble! That inner child needs to know their limitations.

Please feel free to comment on this blog either here or preferably back on Facebook. And pass it on to anyone you suspect might have Snog-Phobia (a debilitating disease which can affect the victim's brain!)

All copyrights reserved as you and I both know what powerful resource tool this posting has been that I have gifted you.

May your snogs never be the same again
Dean
http://www.setsail4life.com/

Camel v’s Ferrari

I was skyping with a mate of mine recently discussing the important current affairs of Cobar, not far from Nowhere, and somewhere in outback New South Wales, Australia. There’s a severe water shortage in the region and it was this observation which brought us to the topic of camels. I confess my knowledge of camels is limited. I do know they had some cigarettes named after them, and I’m also aware that they come in different varieties (the animal that is), essentially one humpers and two humpers.

After much debate on the ride-ability of these “ships of the desert”, I came to the conclusion that a two humper camel would be better to ride than the one humper. But the truth of the matter is, “how would I know?” I’ve never ridden one of these sand spitting beasts in my life, and the last time I looked at my To Do List, test driving camels in Cobar wasn’t on it!

What did prevail from this realization however was the old adage” there’s no substitute for experience”. How can any individual or party comment on another’s plight with any weight of conviction without first having been subjected to the situation themselves?

Furthermore I have presumed recent experiences within my own personal circumstance, that it is not possible for anyone to effectively engage in my line of business, that is the offering of products and opportunities to interested parties (in the booming industry of personal development), without first having test-driven the home based personal development program for oneself.

Picture this:
A prestige showroom with flaming red Ferraris adorning the floor. A man (William) with more money than friends happens to be walking by, window shopping. The Ferrari salesman (lets call him Umberto) woos the window shopper off the street with a toothy grin and a sassy assistant. Before Willy the window shopper has a chance to evaluate the opportunity, he finds himself sitting at the wheel of a GTO 350, with the sassy lassy laced up beside him. Umberto’s cheekily sat on the bonnet, sizing up Mr Money Bags with one of his trademark million dollar grins.
“It’s the best on the block Willy” Umberto says
“Oh, really, and what makes you so sure?”
“Come on Willy, it’s a Ferrari mate.”
“And its red,” comes the steamy comment from the passenger seat.
“You got me there” replies Willy, “but what else can you tell me about it?"
Umberto skids off the bonnet, does his best Fred Astaire across the showroom floor, and returns with the specifications and a glossy brochure.
“Its, Its….its all in here" assures a stuttering Umberto, as he hands it to a rising Willy, who's now out of the car and planning his departure.
“Thank you, I’ll come back to you after I’ve checked this out.”
Umberto is a defeated man. The fact is, he had pictured Willy’s early departure b4 he had even entered the door.

Just as William is about to exit the premises another man (Mario) walks in “Did you find what you were looking for?” he says. Before Willy can respond, Mario follows up with, “Have you ever driven a Ferrari”
“No I haven’t. What’s it like?”
“You my friend, don’t know what you’re missing out on. This here GTO 350 is the most technologically advanced piece of machinery made without wings. If you don’t have hairs on your chest before you jump in (Mario at this point undoes some buttons to reveal a carpet of chest hair), you will by the time you eventually peel your white-finger grip from this wheel. It’s got G forces to match any G spot, and with 12 kick arse cylinders barking GO DADDY GO, you’ll be red-lining on your ECG in no time, and that’s only 1st gear. A tap of the tip-tronic and 2nd gear’s gonna put you in the back seat if there was one, but there’s not so hold on baby coz we got 700 stampeding stallions of horse power action that’ll literally strip the white lines off a runway! I can’t tell you about 3rd, 4th, and 5th gear as I blacked out from the rush, but when I came to in 6th gear, that’s when I noticed the extra hair growth on my pecs as the wind had torn my shirt wide open. I tried to squeal in delight but my cheeks blew out like a puffer fish. My friend, if this car could talk it would yell one word, “MORE”. You know what GTO stands for? It stands for Go…To>>>Orbit.”

Willy’s adrenaline was surging. “Can I take it for a test drive”? he said

Folks, its obvious what I’m saying here, experience counts for everything! Poor old Umberto, didn’t care for the experience. He just wanted the money. Mario on the other hand, lived for the experience, and money came along for the ride too.

Where I work, in the Personal Development industry, it’s about the experience. And there’s plenty of money along the way too! www.setsail4life.com

Mad Cow's Disease

Picture this


You’re driving through the country-side. You’ve just spent the weekend out of the rat-race. You and your partner are feeling closer and more connected than ever. In fact, there’s no other place you’d rather be but right there next to your soul mate. The sky is so clear you can see crystals in the air. The afternoon light showcases a time-chiseled landscape. Left.., right.., no matter where you look, its just one panoramic slide after another. You consider capturing the scene on camera, and then decline to forfeit the moment.
Your car is luxuriously smooth, and your favorite music is playing, which incidentally, has put the kids to sleep. A smile spreads wide across your face, and you look over to see the love of your life reflecting that same smile. She caresses your shoulder, and strokes slowly down your arm to the upturned palm of your hand. After some suggestive tickling her fingers interlock with yours as she squeezes her intention.
You squeeze right back, not with your hands but with your abs, Phoof! PhhhhhoooffffffPPFFFFF. A huge fart rips through the car seat. You’re wife has lost that smile, and you almost lose control of the car as tears of laughter are followed by tears of relief. Incredibly the kids have slept through the bum-blast, but the fallout now invading their air-space is almost certain to affect their breathing.
“Sorry Love, but your mum’s home cookin gets me every time,” is the only condolence you can muster to your shell-shocked wife.
Flatulence has now taken centre stage as it urges you to recall a thought you had whilst on the in-laws verandah. Horror has now replaced laughter as the morning’s experience bites into your reality.

Much earlier that day you had been helping your father-in-law (Jim) feeding the cows. It was just after dawn as you and Jim dismounted the tractor and you’re immediately struck by the observation that all the cows are shouldered together in the one, well-worn paddock.

You ask “Jim, is there something special to the cows about this plonker of a paddock? Why are we handing them bales of grass here when that paddock over there across the easement has got grass literally waving at us?
“Well son”, he says in an acknowledging tone, “It’s because I don’t want them in that paddock. I want to keep the lush paddock for crop growing”
“But it’s not like you’ve got a barbed fence there Jim. Surely they could cross the creek, and scale the bank. Then they’d be up to their udders in fresh green grass.”
“Son, you don’t understand. These cows don’t like cold creeks and muddy banks. Besides, the barn with the baled grass is closer to this paddock.”
“Jim, are you trying to tell me that there’s not one cow in this whole herd of fat hoofers that hasn’t been tempted to reach those greener pastures?”
“You never asked that son. But now that you have, a very few have tried, some got stuck in the mud and had to be dragged out, and a couple actually made it. But most all of the herd are familiar with this paddock. They know what’s going to happen, that I will feed them and milk them, feed them and milk them”
“And how about those lucky cows that made it to the other side. Do you ever see them?”
“Sometimes son, but they pretty much look after themselves now.”

All this time, while you and your father in-law have been chewing the cud of logic of the common cow, there has been another humanized version of this conversation playing out simultaneously in the backstage of your mind.
For you that well-worn paddock is the rat race, and that farmer is your boss.
But worse revelations are on their way.
As you grab a hand-full of grass, a brown cow of all cows trots right up to you, and eye-balls your hand. Steam extracts from its nostrils, and the ears twitch in anticipation of a feed. Though the cow does not share your fascination, you pause to take it all in. Previously transfixed on the feed in your hand, the cow’s eyes are now on your eyes. Its amazing…., you, and the cow…., are having a moment. The cow says the only thing it can…….Moo…….and what do you do? You mouth it straight back…..Moo…..
A rising flood of emotions tears apart your senses as you finally realize that you and the cow are essentially 1 and the same. You are the COW in this play. No, it’s worse even than that. You are just A cow in this paddock, treading in the cow dung of all the other no name cows in this same, wretched, paddock.

Moral of the story: don’t go picking exotic looking mushrooms while at your in-law’s farm.

And on a serious note, if you are concerned that you may have contracted mad cow’s disease, then you can find green pastures by visiting my website http://www.setsail4life.com/

In the Beginning!

In the beginning there was the blogspot, and this blogspot became meekee's. Meekee created this blogspot, from the beginning.



The meekee has landed.



Welcome to my blog. You're absolutely in the right place, no matter where that place is. And there's just a few things we need to attend to, right now, before we depart from our present mindset.



Number 1: For those of you that are of legal drinking age - Grab a beer, or a glass of red, or whatever drink it is you have when you're having fun.

If you're not at least 18, then I reccommend GI lime

Number 2: When ever I prompt you for your favorite accent (eg Yoda from Star Wars) the text will be in Italics. This is to be read using your favourite accent. If you don't already have a favourite accent, you can choose from the following:

- Jim Carey (that's mine)

- Marvin the Martian

- the sexy electronic female voice you might hear in the lift

- Skippy the Kangaroo (not easy, can't even write what Skippy says)

- Batman or Robin

- your favorite news reader

- the Queen of England or some other plum eater

- Audrey Hepburn

- Homer Simpson etc



You shouldn't have too much trouble here. Your brain has 100,000 characters to choose from (est. only ;)

Ok, so you got that. Don't forget their facial expressions or body language.....Now for those of you who want the "first class" seat in this experience, I urge you to dress the part as well (eg if you chose Marvin the Martian, put on your girlfriend's netball skirt for special effects, if you chose QE2, put on your $1,000,000 crown)



Number 3: Have a decent swig of your favourite bevo, and listen up

Lets go go go!!!

Repeat after me,

"My life is absolutely friggin fantastic"

Yeh not bad, at least you said it!

Now, just one more time please folks, this time however, give it some tonalilty. Break it down...and build it up

My Life When you say "My Life" say it like you're speaking about an amazing gift, like someone's just stolen it from you and now you're stealing it back

Is And when you say Is, give it that "happening" feel, because it Is happening!

Absolutely The easiest word in the phrase to say, said as though someone was asking you if you're a good lover

Friggin the 2 syllable slang "friggin" is said quickly and with an air of amazement, almost shaking your head with disbelief...."friggin"

Fantastic spoken with a strong realization, like superman just handed you his cape and all his powers!

Ok so just rehearse this phrase one more time at say 50% full throttle

My Life, Is Absolutely, Friggin, Fantastic!

Gooood, Good, so you're all limbered up now?....Yes?....Yes!

Before we hit it, just guzzle from that glass or bottle one more time, let it spill over, and leave it there!

OK, this is it, this is what you've trained so hard for these past 5 minutes!!!!!

This is full throttle passion my friends.......

NOW, WITH ME

My Life Is Absolutely Friggin Fantastic!

Awesome stuff my fellow champions, so my inspired offering for the world today is this, "put passion into your words, and you'll have passion in your life"

I reccommend you practice saying this until you absolutely nail it, then ring your mum, your friend, your dog, and give them your best effort. Theyll love it, you'll love it, and LOVE will love it!

Unfortunately there were no accents today, my apologies to those blokes sat there in their sister's netball skirt.

If, by the way, you're asking " why is this guy so happy, its partly because I've got the best job on planet Earth. If you want it, come and get it http://www.setsail4life.com/